I find it sad to know that a person succumbs to the crises of day-to-day living and end up acquiring mental illness like schizophrenia.  In my opinion, schizophrenics are robbed of their basic dignity and value and human persons whose beings are associated with sanctity.  It pains me to see people suffering from mental disorders for it tells me how painful life and living must be for them.  It seems that they don’t have enough inner strength to sustain them in their struggles against the vicissitudes of life.

I know of someone, a relative who is mentally ill.  In my younger years, I used to visit her and bring her food.  She looks like a normal person but when she begins to talk it sounded very different in the sense that is deviates from the topic or thought of the conversation.  She sometimes shows intense anger and violence saying that her neighbors are talking against her.  She complains that she’s hearing voices suggesting malicious thoughts against her and others.  Her illness developed when she was studying high school.  She was unable to finish her studies because of that.  Over the years, her life became fruitless in the sense of the quality of her life.  she did not achieve her dreams and actualize her positive potentials.  Her illness deprives her to live fully as a normal human person.

In my analysis, there must be something that triggers the person to deviate from normalcy.  Perhaps something is happening in one’s life, could be psychologically or emotionally and has reached beyond the boundary of sanity.  Unfortunately, some crossed the line and unable to regain their inner hold.  To me, this reality shows how delicate the interiority of a human being is.  Human persons are fragile and should be treated with compassion and care.  It reminds me also of my own life and the way I respond to my everyday struggles.  I sense the importance of nurturing my inner strength and always fostering positive attitudes toward everything that life has to offer me be it good or bad, lest I’ll end up psychologically or emotionally torn and battered by the blows of crises.  After all, I am the one that shapes my own life according to how I respond to the events that take place in my own process of becoming.

The importance of the family has been emphasized as the major source of influence in the development of one’s personality.  It is undoubtedly the primary basis of becoming who and what we are as persons.  Along the way of self-growth, one absorbs both the negative and positive qualities of family values and influences and these greatly affect the person's present state of being and the way she or he responds to the dynamics of life.  I believe that awareness of the inner movement of the self is the key to recognize the qualities of our actions.  Awareness calls for change, transformation, moving from past to the present.  Sometimes it calls for giving up or going beyond our comfort zones.  It is sad to know that many are totally existing and living in a state of unawareness.  It is even more unfortunate to find people who are trap in disordered lives, repeating cycles of self-defeating responses.  This is not what God intends us to become.  It is fitting for every person to experience the fullness of life, the joy of living becoming fully human, fully alive. 

As we go through the process of maturity and self-discovery, now and then we get acquainted to a variety of life's phenomenons whether superficial or significant.  In the interplay of these events, a person may adapt certain ways and means of coping mechanisms whether healthy or maladaptive.  I cannot turn back the time.  It is useless to brood over spilled milk.   The past is past.  Neither can I blame my parents or criticize them.  I must go on, looking forward to what lies ahead.  I release the past so that I can live fully in the present, here-and-now.  I let go of the excess baggage of guilt and regret. The sense of self-awareness that l acquire through my learnings with CEFAM is enough blessing for me to come to terms with my own issues.  From this awareness starts my own journey towards healing and wholeness.  My father is already dead.  I cannot anymore share with him my realizations but in spirit I believe I can.  Our relationship does not end with death.  According to Morrie (Tuesdays with Morrie), "death ends physical life but not relationships".  In a way I am still connected to my father.  I can forgive him and in effect heal my emotional woundedness.  As with my mother and other siblings I can share with them these significant insights to lift them out from their unawareness.  To break the pattern of self-defeating responses, I can change the quality of my own standpoint toward life’s setbacks.  In the process, the areas that were occupied by hurts and bitterness will be replaced by love.  This love, I realized comes from the knowledge that I am personally and unconditionally loved by God despite my glaring flaws and distortions brought about by the hurts accumulated over the years.  I know that I bring the past with me to any new beginning, but I choose to take only whatever adds to my enrichment and upbuilding.