When I was constructing my own genogram and family chronology, I felt a sense of connection to my roots.  Memories of past experiences with my paternal and maternal relatives seemed to come to life again as if I was watching on a big screen where images are playing.  I was reminded of their pains, the joys and sorrows of both families of origin of my parents.  I believe that whatever took place in the life cycle of both families has an impact in my life today and the way I relate to people and events in my life at the present.  The genogram evokes certain emotions and mixed feelings of joy, regret, sadness as it inspires recollection of intense moments of interactions within the family circle.  I am deeply convinced that my ways of relating and basic perspective of life are shaped by my family’s influence on me.  I was brought up acquainted with the ups and downs of the family life. The most emotionally significant of them all were the times when I saw my parents quarreling and physically hurt each other.  I cannot reconcile the idea that people have to fight because they love each other.  I believe that love and violence cannot exist together. A self-actualized person can truly experience the love and anger polarities but in an appropriate healthy manner.  Hurting or physical abuse is not one of them. 

My father’s violent tendencies were indications of a love-deficient life.  He’s values were basically shaped by the influences from his family of origin.  He too struggled as he unconsciously carried within him issues from his childhood past.  Being a product of a broken home, my mother has her own fears and insecurities too.  So, what all these realizations mean to me now, at this point in my life?  Bringing all these things into the light of consciousness is one good step to break the pattern.  I am a product of my family.  The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly qualities are there.  They are part of who I am but I am more than these qualities.  I can go beyond them.  I have the choice to say YES or NO to these patterns of responses.  I admit there were many instances in the past that I wished my family could be this and not that.  Times how I wished I could change the situation but it’s there.  My family is a given.  I cannot choose the members.  They are given to me in as much as I am for them.  The genogram process opened many areas in my life that I’ve never seen and realized before.  I came to see a glimpse of my parents emotional struggles, which made me feel and understand their pains and in a very human of saying, their imperfections.  I cannot deny that there are areas in my life that were touched by the genogram.  I can see my own life there enabling me to look at them with fresh eyes and new insight.