I find the third part of Boyer’s book very enriching to read especially on the area of community.  There are portions that made me stop and think for a while.  I was also reflecting on my past life before I went out from my religious community.  How have I been able to relate with my fellow brothers and my ways of thinking then.  Boyer’s thoughts about community and his experiences and observations on this made me appreciate the value of living a life shared with others through genuine love and care.  It made me believe that life becomes more meaningful when it touches other lives and is enriched by them.  As I recall, I never had a deep understanding about community life when I entered the seminary.  My thinking was that it is something that results from the gathering of people with common interests and goals in life.  People who come from different orientations living together under one roof trying to live a life governed by structures and rules.  It was a shallow understanding of what a community is. 

I went out from my community with a bitter heart, frustrations and a lot of anger and resentments.  Along the way, I failed to see the real and deeper value of it.  As Boyer puts it, “Idealism can be destructive in a community.  An idealist believes that something must be perfect for God to love it.”  I was one.  I was blind and deaf enough to hear the Gospel message that God can love imperfect things.  I never realized that it is with God’s love and our imperfections that we build community.  In my foolishness I failed to see my own contributions for the “failure” that I saw in my own community.  It was my own imperfections that I saw but cowardly ran away from it.  I was not strong enough to accept it and was unaware that God loves me as I am.  I never recognized that even in mine and others’ weaknesses and limitations – perhaps especially there that we have something genuinely to offer and enrich each other’s lives.

This is also true in family life.  The family with each member living together is also a form of community helping each other to care for others and learning ways to reach out beyond themselves.  This new understanding truly enriches me.  It opens areas in my consciousness that would create a space for genuine love and care to grow.    I feel that I am beginning to embrace a new form of understanding far different from the past where there was more and more blaming, accusing and pointing a finger to others.   I am truly grateful that along the many struggles and frustrations that I went through, God is present and is working through the many good people that I come across with and the many experiences that is taking place in my life.  One of them is my studies at CEFAM, which is opening new doors of awareness in my life now.

Given the chance and the opportunity to live the community life again in the religious setting, I would not hesitate to embrace it once more.  I feel that I am now strengthened by the setbacks that stormed my life in the past.  My new understanding and awareness of what it means to live in a community and the unconditional love of God for me and for others has somehow mellowed down the pains of an aborted attempt to live a consecrated life.  For me, it is a source of joy to realize Boyer’s closing words in Chapter 12 that says: “It is a way of being connected with others and, beyond that, of acknowledging that connection so that there might be moments when all see that it is God, not empty space, which fills the distance between people.”  What a source of joy!

I’m amazed by what I’ve discovered about the book of Ernest Boyer, Jr. (Finding God at Home). Every chapter is infused with wisdom lifted from the ordinary and simple way of living and caring for the family coming from the experiences and insights of a layman, husband and father.  It is very evident that this man’s spirituality is very deep and yet simple, devoid of high-sounding theological discourses or doctrines.  That there is wisdom, beauty and richness in mundane, day-to-day interaction whether in the family or in many other aspects of every person’s life is the most striking and uplifting insight I’ve ever heard in my life.  I never thought that doing the most familiar and routinary tasks like washing the dishes, cleaning the house, tending the children and the like could be an occasion of the celebration of divine mystery.  To me, it takes a contemplative eye to see the connectivity of all these things into one act of unceasing worship.  God is ever-present in all human activities most felt in the unremarkable.

It touches my heart to the core to realize how a simple, unassuming work can be turned into a gesture of love.  Any task can become an act of devotion so to speak.  There is sacredness in simple things.  I have heard about the sacred and the profane in philosophy and theology discussions.  I think with the sacrament of the routine, the division between the sacred and the profane no longer exists.  As I was writing this reflection, I realized that there are no dull moments in living life day after day.  Whether living a married life, religious or single life, there is no difference at all.  I believe that the gifts that Boyer is saying are found in every facet of life whether one is married or not though it is in the context of family that it is best expressed.   Looking back, I never recognized the richness of the spirituality of the family.  I was only conscious of the boring, repetitive task of doing the household chores.  The act of caring was not done out of conscious love but more of an obligation or responsibility being an eldest son.  Sometimes I do things grudgingly or take it for granted because it’s just like those ordinary, little, insignificant things I do everyday.  I realized now that that was all but empty acts of familiarity.  I was ignorant about the meaning and richness of those wonderful moments.

I am grateful for having the opportunity to discover the sacrament of the routine, the sacred in the ordinary.  This awareness changes my perspective about life in its totality.  I can now deeply appreciate the labors and pains of my parents and others who sacrificed themselves for their loved ones.  The little things people do for others.  For me, life in the ordinary becomes delightful.  There is deep joy in every corner of life.  God is near, palpable, very human and yet so intense, infinitely powerful.