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I am really amazed by the ongoing developments in the Catholic Church today.  Based on the readings of Thomas Fox on “Sexuality and Catholicism”, my awareness of what is going on in the mind of our modern Church theologians is heightened.  It is very evident that the “signs of the times” have greatly challenged the Church’s standpoint on many aspects of our traditional faith and religion.  Since the promulgation of the second Vatican Council, many significant things or insights have occurred among the laity as well as within the circle of the Catholic theologians, which I believe to be signs that our institutional Church must be aware of.

Since I was educated in the seminary for years, I have realized that there are many things I’ve learned, which run counter to the real flesh-and-blood, day-to-day interaction with life.  Learnings that try to deny real human issues instead of dealing with them face-to-face.  I even feel that some of these learnings from theology and philosophy are just plain rhetorics or abstractions.  They don’t speak totally about life and its wonderment but just skillful arguments that float in the air.  One of the real life issues that I’m referring to is human sexuality.   I agree with Greeley when he said, “The institutional church has not treated its people well.”  He was referring to the Church teachings on sexuality that fail to take into account how Catholics engage in or look at their sexual experiences. Call a spade, a spade!

I admit that I am not fully impressed by the kind of education I received from the seminary. The very respectable people who taught me (most of the priests) are the ones who are having difficulty in dealing with their own sexuality (at least to some degree I know) and most of them are stereotype masculine figures who were very conscious or afraid to acknowledge their feminine aspects considering that a person possesses both qualities.  I feel irritated or upset thinking about these supposed to be “enlightened persons” who arrogantly cling to their status (earned degrees) and view others as inferior to themselves or think they know better than laypeople, or even compete among themselves (this is true in my diocese).  As far as I can recall, there has never been a thorough and straightforward discussion about sexuality in my college seminary education.  During my time and even years before I entered, going “over the bakod” (jumpin' over the fence) especially during nighttime has been the popular issue among seminarians in my diocese.  Some go on a date, watch movies or drinking with classmates were the common secret activities.  They were even proud to tell their escapades to other seminarians the day after.  I think this is one of the many consequences of not dealing with sexuality in one’s formation period. 

I left the seminary many years ago.  I realized that being in the seminary or becoming a priest or religious is not a guarantee to attain peace with oneself or that one is higher than the other in terms of learning and spirituality.  In fact, I know some ordinary people who have more wisdom, more spiritual and are at peace with their own sexuality than those who wear the habit.  With the new trend now that many members of the institutional church are becoming more aware and are really trying to spread awareness among people concerning sexuality, spirituality and other important matters of life and faith, I am inclined to believe that our faith is dynamic and evolving rather than static.  Our concrete life experiences point us to a greater, broader reality.  Every life experience counts.  Life and faith have no dichotomy.  I think our theology must come from our concrete experiences as persons and how God’s love manifests in our lives as human beings.  Our theology has to change if we are to move forward in our journey towards the reign of God.

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The story was shared to me by a friend about his cousin whose life is ruined by substance abuse.  He’s name is Sam, (not his real name) an eldest son of a well-off family.  He was educated in De La Salle University, became a campus figure and a popular school athlete.  He married at 21 to a girl from a prominent family. The story relates that Sam was not well accepted by the girl’s parents.  Despite of this his marriage seemed to be well adjusted at the beginning. He took care part of his family business as his means of livelihood.  He went to the States to look for greener pasture.  He came back to find out that his remittances were spent frivolously by his wife.  Saddened by the irresponsible attitude of his wife, he turned to another woman who introduced him to using prohibited drugs.  His wife knew his infidelity but was silent about it. Suddenly their good life became miserable.  His wife was into drinking to cope up with their marital problems. One day my friend saw him inside an establishment haggard and disheveled far from the person that he knew and grew up with. Sam’s two children now are manifesting anti-social behavior.  Sometimes, his eldest daughter who is now 24 years old is acting strangely like sitting in one corner with blank stare and the youngest son, 19 has roamed around Forbes Park naked, manifesting violent behavior.  Sam’s status now is going in and out of the rehab center and was recommended for psychiatric treatment…

            Drug addiction or substance abuse has affected families and individuals from all walks of life wreaking havoc to those who fell into its trap.  Many people tend to characterize individuals who take drugs as morally weak, uneducated and having criminal tendencies like those typical scenes that we see in the slums.  This myth overlooks the reality that even decent, famous, educated people and even innocent minors can be hooked on drugs.  There are a variety of reasons why they came to such a state.  I think the most significant of these factors touches the psycho-emotional aspect of the person.  Sam’s relational crises ushered him to substance abuse.  Marital conflicts as well as the sense of alienation from his in-laws contributed much to his search for self-worth and security, which he found with his other-woman and the use of drugs.  I surmise that the degree of their marital intimacy is weak enough to function as a secure bond that supposed to protect their marriage from breaking apart.  Instead of seeking emotional security with his wife, Sam turned to his mistress and drugs.  Perhaps the wife failed along the way to make herself a visible support for her husband, Sam.  I was told that the wife is a spoiled brat.  Their two children now are also suffering the effects of their marital dysfunction, becoming IPs (Identified Patients), acting out the family problem.  Further on, I would say that scenarios like this, somehow mirrors how our society today places its values and meaning.  To some respects, our society today loses it spiritual core and places more value on things contrary to the value of life and the human person as a being associated with sanctity and preciousness.  Family values nowadays are slowly eroding giving way to narcissism, materialism and the culture of death.  Quite a number of marital partners find it difficult and perhaps even impossible to encounter God in each other.  Our contemporary culture is described by some sociologists as addictive, out of touch with its deeper needs and wants, resorting instead to substances, habits and/or other forms of denial and escape. 

            In the systemic view of the problem, drug addiction is just a tip of the iceberg. Addiction reveals a varied set of symptoms that are blatant signs of a disturbing problem, which has much to do with the person’s significant relationships and the manner in which the person is interacting and dealing with the vicissitudes of life.  Drugs offer a temporary escape or flight that seek to fill in the inner gaps.  An illusory source of relief, safety, security and self-worth that actually depletes the person’s sense of well-being.  Amidst these multiple drawbacks that threaten the foundation of families today, it is the children that suffer the most.  Unconsciously, they bear the stigma in their identity as human persons.  Acting out the dysfunction that aggravates their chaotic sense of self.  Left uncared for, these issues will be passed on to their future families and children repeating the vicious cycle of unresolved conflicts and emotional baggages, which they inherited from their families of origin.  Coming from a hollow foundation of self and values, these children will only transmit their own emptiness to future generations.

            Addiction does begin with drug abuse when an individual makes a conscious choice to use drugs, but addiction is not just "a lot of drug use." Recent scientific research provides overwhelming evidence that not only do drugs interfere with normal brain functioning creating powerful feelings of pleasure, but they also have long-term effects on brain metabolism and activity. At some point, changes occur in the brain that can turn drug abuse into addiction, a chronic, relapsing illness. Those addicted to drugs suffer from a compulsive drug craving and usage and cannot quit by themselves. Treatment is necessary to end this compulsive behavior.  By treatment, this involves the counseling aspect. I believe that counseling can be a powerful tool in addiction recovery and treatment. A successful treatment program is going to address every aspect of an addiction: the physical as well as the mental. Dealing with the mental and psychological aspects, the underlying reasons for the drug addiction, the damaged relationships, psychological dependency, and the rebuilding of the integrity and mental wellness of an addict can be a very long and difficult process.  In the case of Sam, I asked my friend who happened to be his cousin if Sam’s family was included in the treatment process, he said that Sam’s father was avoiding it and eventually did not fully cooperate with the process because a gap existed between Sam and his father.  The father considered Sam a shame in the family.  Here, I can sense that even in Sam’s family of origin, there seems to be a collapse of family values in terms of looking after the welfare of the individual members.  I was told that even Sam’s wife was complacent about it.  Obviously, Sam’s children also need counseling.  As would-be counselor, I find it imbalance to focus the treatment on the patient alone.  The areas of difficulty would be that when the family of the patient fails to cooperate or ignore the treatment and recovery process. The role of the significant others of the patient and their participation are essential.  Placing the person inside the rehab center doesn’t solve the problem, or at least remedy the biological aspect of addiction but the other significant half of the treatment concerns the family and the home where the patient will be reintegrated later. An addicted member drags the entire family to a troublesome situation. Considering that our society deems it shameful, the family tends to shut off turning a blind eye on its participation on the addiction.  Awareness of this dynamic plays a decisive factor in the treatment and recovery process. Another difficulty would be to bring the addicted client to an awareness or acceptance of his/her need to be healed.  

    According to Cardinal Trujillo, president of the Pontifical Council of the Family, "the person experiencing drug-addiction is in a way both a victim and a sad product of society, sick in many respects, incapable of giving meaning to life and experience, who only transmits his own emptiness. Here we are dealing with a confused society from which faith is uprooted, and it no longer shapes either individual or collective existence. The justifications for life itself are overshadowed, fomenting a confusion that becomes a gnawing pain at the soul." Addicted persons reflect the conditions of our families as well as our society today.  In treating individuals who are caught up with addictions in any form, educating the family and strengthening its values is our basic weapon in overcoming this dreaded social and personal evil.  Addiction does not occur by itself alone.  It always brings with it some aspects of a bigger underlying problem.  The family as a spiritual womb where the basic sense of trust and security emanates ought to be a safe shelter where individual members can run to when they are troubled or confronted with their own problems instead of turning to drugs and other sources of artificial wellness that provides a temporary but shallow sense of emotional security. Addiction somehow reveals how families are doing today.  In my reflection, the reality of addiction comes in a complex dynamics of intervening factors but I think the person always has a choice.  One conscious choice would make or break a person.